Seeing him hunched over the bar in his tight leather costume, floor-length cape and cowl mask was a strange sight indeed. It’s not everyday that a superhero drinks away his troubles in a public bar. Although lately, the Dark Sentinel had started to become a regular at Sid’s Suds, the little joint where I worked most evenings.
Dark Sentinel shook his bottle indicating he was ready for another. I pulled one out of the ice and set it in front of him. He took a buck from a compartment in his Sentinel equipo-belt and laid it on the counter.
I absently wiped a glass, and decided to make small talk, my real job. “So how’s the crime-fighting going?â€
He snorted and said, “What crime-fighting? I did such a good job of ridding this city of bizarre super-villains and catching criminals that Neon City is now crime-free.â€
I began to see his problem. “Your success as a super-hero put you out of the job. Or a duty. How do you see it?â€
“A mission. But you’re right. The former hoodlums, crooks and super-freaks are all either jailed or in asylums, and new criminals are too wary to come here.â€
“Or too frightened of you. Your costume is a bit, um, intimidating. As you are too, as a crime-fighter, I mean.†It was odd, talking to Dark Sentinel like any normal, blue-collar customer.
Dark Sentinel nodded. “Anyway, it’s been frustrating. Nothing. No crime to stop. No one to save. No costumed nut trying to blow up the city or turn its population into zombies or monkeys. Not even a jay walker.â€
I served a guy at the end of the bar before I replied, “Well, you should be proud. Neon City is the safest city in America, probably. Don’t you have a partner, a kid named . . . “
“Darkling, the Mystery Boy. Great youngster. Couldn’t ask for a better partner, always had my back, always ready to go and fight the bad guys.†Dark Sentinel made bottle rings on the bar distractedly. I noticed that he hadn’t shaved in several days.
“He out waiting in the Sentinel-mobile?†I knew he was too young for a bar, which was funny considering the adult risks he took with the Dark Sentinel daily.
Another snort. “I wish. It got too slow for him. No excitement anymore. So he left Neon City, got a new costume and took a new name, Knight Errant, and moved to Argon City to be their resident super-hero. I hope it works out for him. But not too well, or he’ll end up like me.â€
I felt sorry for Dark Sentinel. He looked pretty pathetic. There’s nothing worse than a lonely super-hero without a crazy super-villain to foil.
“I keep patrolling the city nightly in the Sentinel-mobile, but I’m just wasting my time.â€
The guy at the end of the bar stood up then. He threw off his overcoat, revealing a wildly colored, ill-matched outfit that made him either a clown on drugs or, was it possible, the real, live super-villain Jigsaw?
“See how the mighty Dark Sentinel has fallen! Reduced to crying in his beer! Ha Ha Ha! Well, caped crybaby, your precious Darkling, now pretending he’s Knight Errant, has only minutes to live! And you will never find him in time to save him, so I will give you a clue- when is a duck not a duck?â€
Dark Sentinel leaped into a classic super-hero stance. “When it’s a duct. The Kane Duct Works in midtown.â€
Laughing, Jigsaw escaped through the back door, stiffing me for his drinks by the way. The Dark Sentinel smiled at me, looking like he used to in newspaper photos, and yelled “I’m needed,†as he dashed outside. I heard the Sentinel-mobile roar to life and speed away.
I wasn’t all that surprised when Jigsaw walked back in, pulled off his fright wig and plopped back down at the bar. “Hope this gets him out of his slump,†the Jigsaw impersonator replied, “Darkling went to a lot of trouble setting this scenario up.â€
Rod Drake thinks about a lot of different things, and some of those thoughts get turned into stories. You just read one. Read Rod’s other stories published in Fictional Musings, Flash Flooding, Flash Forward, MicroHorror, Six Sentences and AcmeShorts.
Too funny! Loved the ending.