“Jay, I need you to get some nice pastries. For dessert. From Paris.”
Jason Barry sighed as he sat on Violet’s couch. He should never have revealed his secret identify to his girlfriend. Actually, he didn’t reveal it so much as she figured it out. It was harder to keep a secret identity secret than he imagined; friends could figure it out from your voice, from the features of your face that the mask didn’t cover. Phrases you used in conversation, gestures you made.
And he was close to Violet March. Unfortunately he got too close, too fast, before he really got to know her as a person. And now it was too late. She had him hooked and good, better than any super-villain he had ever faced.
Jason “Jay” Barry was Lightning Bolt, the super-speed superhero. For three years he had caught criminals, foiled super-villains, stopped alien conquerors and saved most of the residents of Neon City a dozen times over.
“Jay, get moving. You can be over to Paris and back in ten minutes. Go now while supper’s still cooking.”
Jay knew it was hopeless to do anything but what Violet wanted. That was how this relationship worked. Oh, it had benefits for him. He did what she asked, and she gave him the best sex he could possibly imagine. Imaginative. Incredible. So he reluctantly did her bidding. And tried to work in crime-fighting, he wryly admitted to himself.
Jay put his Lightning Bolt rubber suit on, pulled his cowl mask down and took off for France. The speed he possessed let him skim across water and race up skyscrapers since he ran too fast for gravity to affect him.
Even with slowing down to get the pastries and paying for them, he still made it back home in 12 minutes.
“Thanks, sweetie,” Violet kissed his cheek coquettishly. Then she frowned. It was a very attractive frown, although everything about her was attractive. Physically anyway.
“We need some flowers for the table. Some exotic ones. Run down to Florida, or the Keys, or maybe the Bahamas and get some really colorful, wild ones. Chop chop, let’s go.”
Jay noticed that her blouse was buttoned one button lower than it should have been. What a perfect rack. She played her game so well.
In four minutes he was racing through the Keys. What did he know about flowers? At 26 he knew little about life in general. Just how to use his super-speed power and do his ordinary day job. Computer graphic artist. That meant he worked at home usually which was good for his Lightning Bolt identity, but it also left him at Violet’s beck and call.
It was nearly 25 minutes before he returned to Violet’s kitchen. The flowers in his hands looked pretty wilted.
“Where have you been? Supper’s ruined now. I thought you were the ‘fastest man on earth’?” Violet was now in the mood when Jay called her “Ultraviolet.” But not to her face, of course.
“Sorry. I got delayed. On the way back through town I ran into Deus X. Machina.”
Deus X. Machina was Lightning Bolt’s archenemy. A brilliant scientist gone mad (of course) who created sophisticated of robots to commit crimes.
“Machina? I thought he was in jail.”
“He escaped,” Jay replied, pulled his cowl mask off. “He created a new army of robots and was attempting to rob every bank in town simultaneously.”
“Doesn’t he know that people are eating supper now? Who robs banks at supper time?”
Jay almost admired Violet’s ability to focus on her life no matter what the situation. “I guess crime can happen anytime,” he offered weakly.
Violet leaned against the sink, crossing her arms. “So,” she asked matter-of-factly, “how did you stop him?”
“The robots were too powerful for me to defeat. Invulnerable to high-speed pounding. Too many to spin away. And their laser-beam vision kept me hopping. Well, running actually. So I did the only thing I could think of.” When battling super-villain threats, Jay was quick-witted and decisive. Unfortunately it didn’t translate to his personal life.
“Which was?” Violet dumped her tuna casserole into the garbage disposal.
“I unscrewed all the nuts and bolts that held the robots together. At super-super-speed, of course. They were disassembled before they figured out what was happening to them.” Jay put his hands behind his head, feeling proud of himself.
“Well, good for you, but not so good for supper.” Her dark mood suddenly changed; she sat down on Jay’s lap, squeaking as she snuggled against his rubber suit. “We need a new supper, Bolty man.” She traced his lips with her fingertip. “Run out and get us some . . . pizza?”
Jay felt Violet’s hips slowly grinding against his groin. “Okay,” he gave in. “Let me guess-from Rome?”
Despite tabloid headlines, Rod Drake is not the missing fifth Monkee (Micky, Davy, Peter, Mike and Rod?). Check out Rod’s better writing in stories posted in Flashing in the Gutters, Fictional Musings, Flash Flooding, Flash Forward, MicroHorror and AcmeShorts.
Except that pizza is actually an American, not Italian, culinary invention.
Amusing tale, though. Eventually, Mr. Lightning Bolt is going to decide that the sex doesn’t make up for the constant nagging, then Ms. Ultraviolet is really going to find herself lit up. It will be a truly, ahem, electrifying experience for her, I expect.